it would probably be too much if i asked you if you're ready to get saucy, right?

i thought so.  LE. SIGH.

… but… are you?

i know. i know. your thanksgiving menus have been solidified since like june because you're ON TOP OF IT.

but in case you have a bone in your body that prevents you from planning ANYTHING ahead (sort of like a food blogger you know) i'm throwing this gem your way.  its soooo easy and can be whipped up in a pinch and is just the easiest contribution that seems so… bougie?

“is that cranberry sauce from a can?” “NO YOU HEATHEN ITS HOMEMADE LIKE MARTHA WOULD DO. DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING?”  <- you on thanksgiving.  #winning

in a related, but semi-unrelated note.  how do you feel about cranberry sauce in general?  i used to LOATHE IT. and now its my jam.  <- LITERALLY HAHAHAHAH.

i'd live a boring life if i didn't laugh at my own jokes.

but seriously.  i could never get on board but for some reason… now that i'm “adulting” (sort of).   i appreciate the tartness of it.  i think it brings a thanksgiving plate full circle. (unless you're eating off a square plate…. HAHHAHAHA)

but here's the thing….

i sort of, actually, kind-of, maybe… love the canned stuff.

GASP I KNOW. ugh i'm sorry.  i can't really get into whole-berry versions of cranberry sauce.  i want it pureed and practically like jello.  i don't want to have to CHEW my sauce is what i'm trying to say, i want to SPREAD it.  yes.

which is why i'm SUCH a fan of my immersion blender.  its a lifesaver.

you can make a big batch of this sauce and then blend the crap out of it so its smooth and perfect.  or you can leave it whole-berry-style if that's what you're into (weirdo.).  OR you could be the best guest/host ever and bring TWO versions…. i think that's what i'm doing this year.  along with a vat of my pretzel dip and more jello shots.  don't you want me as a guest?  DONT YOU?  (i really just have sort of never cooked a turkey and don't own a proper roasting pan so i have to mooch off others).

i might actually be the most pathetic food blogger. ever.  

NEXT YEAR. i'll cook a turkey…. but like, someone teach me how?  

THIS YEAR. i'm bringing sauce and not ashamed.  

i mean COME ON.  just look at it.  

fair warning though, the berries pop.  and they splatter. and i feel like they probably stain.  so be careful.  wear an apron.  BE MARTHA.

hoookay. SO.  here's the dealio.  the lowdown.  the 411 to tell your host/guests.  

this sauce is THREE INGREDIENTS.  and if you make sure you use no sugar added cider/apple sauce you've got yourself a whole30, dairy-free, gluten-free, vegetarian, paleo, vegan CRANBERRY SAUCE.  oh yeah.  this fits the bill.

it marks down EVERY box on your potential check list.

and you know what that means right?  ITS HEALTHY.

which leaves you with more room for stuffing. and mashed potatoes. and gravy.  and um. DESSERT.  yeah.  

you should probably just start with “you're welcome” when you present it.

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but we're really on the same side when it comes to smooth versus whole-berry…. right?

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